C’MON! – My Story of Rock, Ruin and Revelation Read online

  C’MON!

  My Story of Rock, Ruin and Revelation

  Whoever has the Son has life;

  whoever does not have God’s Son does not have life.

  1 John 5:12 (NLT)

  Copyright 2012 Christopher Long

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording or any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper or broadcast.

  STAGE CREW

  Editor: C.K. Lendt

  Assistant Editor: Michelle Wilson

  Production Assistant: Merissa Rudkin

  Illustrations: Wendrell Tillett

  Cover Photos: Kevin Roberts (Intimate Images)

  Cover Design: Stephen Vaughn

  Marketing and Promotions: Chris Dillon

  All New Living Translation Bible references and excerpts appear by permission – courtesy of Tyndale Publishing.

  TRACK LISTING

  Opening Act

  Soundcheck

  Intro Tape

  Chapters

  01. GENIE IN THE BOTTLE

  02. UNDER THE INFLUENCE

  03. THE INITIATION

  04. TRIAL AND ERROR

  05. WE’RE NOT JOKING

  06. THE NEXT BIG THING

  07. LIFE, DEATH AND BUTTERSCOTCH PUDDING

  08. GAME CHANGER

  09. ICE CREAM CAKE

  10. DAMASCUS ROAD

  11. ADRENALINE RUSH

  12. WEAPON OF CHOICE

  13. THE FINAL CUT

  Encore!

  Shout Outs

  Recommended Ministries

  DEDICATION

  To my cousin Dorothy Tillett –

  an angel sent by God

  to save my life in 2010.

  OPENING ACT

  Chris and I both used to be part of the Orlando rock scene back in the old days. He was always one of my favorite frontmen and especially my favorite club frontman by far – VERY entertaining!

  There’s some GREAT stuff in his testimony. His story really hits home, as I know of those demons that have kept me from wanting to leave my room. It was one of the reasons I quit school. I was scared to death to leave my home, wherever that ended up being. And during those dark times, I was often afraid to fall asleep. Thank GOD for Jesus Christ.

  For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

  2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

  Unlike Chris, I wasn’t raised in church, but I had always felt an urging tug on my soul from an early age.

  I am sometimes tempted and feel like I'm in the predicament which Chris describes – only having one foot in the ring. But through the blood of Jesus Christ and the Grace of GOD, I am reminded daily to KEEP that other foot in the ring.

  Chris’ words in this book have really spoken to me – thanks for the awakening!

  Kudos to Chris on his new journey with GOD. I’m glad he’s made the choice and commitment he has.

  -Jeff “Blando” Bland

  Guitarist for the rock band Slaughter and Vince Neil

  (November 2011)

  (Photo: Linda Parnell)

  www.RockMusicImages.com

  SOUNDCHECK

  My primary writing endeavors in recent years have focused on recounting my personal experiences in the music industry. In fact, despite my proper Christian upbringing, most of my fast-paced life has been consumed by an ever-present desire to achieve fame and fortune in the rock and roll world. Ironically, when I finally attained my long-sought-after success as a forty-something rock author, the realization of my lifelong dream fell short of the expectation.

  Following the release of my first book, A Shot of Poison, I experienced a profound spiritual awakening. My journey to get there, including the sex, the drugs and the rock and roll, as well as the frustrations, disappointments and ultimate spiritual rebirth, is the basis of this, my second book.

  I currently attend East Coast Christian Center (ECCC) located in Merritt Island, Florida. Whenever Senior Pastor Dan Stallbaum, an associate pastor or a guest speaker truly is connecting with a powerful message or statement during a service, you can hear people throughout the congregation passionately responding with the church’s acknowledged buzz word, “C’mon!” Simply put, “C’mon!” is a modern-day church version of the old school “Amen” or “Hallelujah!” When I occasionally shared random advance excerpts from this book with ECCC Worship Pastor Chris Johnson, he often would encourage me by offering an enthusiastic “C’mon!” Thus, a title was born.

  I’m still involved in the entertainment business, contributing features and reviews to various print and online publications. However, dishing about rock music and rock stars is far less of a priority in my life these days. I now have something better and more exciting to talk about – the Good News of Jesus Christ!

  Chris Johnson offered me tremendous guidance throughout the development of C’mon!

  (Photo: Cassie Filardo)

  So, “C’mon!” – grab a hot mug of joe and settle in for a rockin’ read. But be sure that despite the spiritual message, I’m not a preacher and I certainly don’t profess to be an expert theologian. I’m just a guy with a story – a story of Rock, Ruin and Revelation.

  -Chris

  P.S. While my stories and accounts are all true, the names of many characters in this book have been changed in an effort to protect the innocent and the guilty – and to keep my minivan from being keyed!

  INTRO TAPE

  There I was, having coffee with a childhood friend who I had looked up while back in my hometown of Springfield, Missouri during my first book tour in 2010. I hadn’t seen Brooke since my family had relocated to Florida in 1975. But even as a little kid, I realized that she was someone who I would recognize later in life as a “cool chick,” and I was elated to finally reconnect.

  This was our first face-to-face experience in thirty-five years, so naturally we had a lot of catching up to do. Surprisingly, we still had much in common. We had both lost parents over the years and conversely we had both become parents. Brooke and I also now were connected to the writing world and we clearly shared similar political philosophies and spiritual views.

  As I was recounting some of the personal experiences that had led to my recent spiritual awakening, Brooke suddenly blurted out, “You know what? You’ve become a preacher!”

  Me and Brooke Dizmang in November 2010.

  (Photo: Dani Deskin)

  I was so taken aback by Brooke’s ridiculous revelation that coffee nearly shot out of my nose. Sure, I had grown up in church, but since high school my comfort zone had been onstage playing in raunchy rock and roll bands. The notion of me now getting in front of an audience and talking about Jesus was completely implausible. But Brooke was dead serious. In fact, she further extended to me an invitation to come and share my story with the youth group at her church. “How soon can you return to Springfield?” she eagerly inquired. “Uh, I’m not sure,” I replied with a certain awkwardness. “And don’t you dare show up at my church wearing a suit and tie,” she passionately added. “I want the painted fingernails, the hat, the tattoos and all the bling. I want you to show up looking like a rock star!”

  I appreciated the sentiment, however, the probability of Brooke’s offer ever coming to fruition was about as likely as the Chicago Cubs winning The World Series…

  CHAPTER ONE

&
nbsp; Genie in the Bottle

  I was raised in a strict Bible-believing, Christian environment. As a kid, my family attended as many as three church services a week and my conservative parents, Chuck and Barb, never would have allowed worldly rock and roll records in their home. Consequently, the pop music I first was introduced to by my older sister, Debbie, was the product of wholesome artists of the day like The Monkees, The Osmonds and The Carpenters. Yeah, I said it – THE CARPENTERS! Oh sure, my introduction to the world of rock and roll was certainly innocent. Over the last thirty-plus years, however, I’ve experienced first-hand the dark, harsh and sometimes heartbreaking realities of the music business – greed, dishonesty, egos, addictions – and even some really bad stuff too!

  Thank God I’m a Country Boy!

  Although I was born in Chicago in 1962, I was raised in Springfield, Missouri – the “Queen City,” located in the heart of the Ozark Mountains. My mom and dad’s sides of the family were both from Tennessee. I spent many summers on various farms, visiting aunts who never missed a church service and prided themselves on their fried okra and homemade peach cobbler, and uncles who grew beans, wore (only) bibbed overalls and chewed lots of Red Man. I’ve experienced using a cane pole down at the ol’ fishin’ hole and I have personal knowledge of outhouses. I even know exactly how far “yonder” is. Simply put – I am a country boy at heart.

  Consequently, in addition to my sister exposing me to her pop record collection, country music was also a major part of my early music experience. Not the generic, watered down twangy-pop version of country music popularized by the “Carries,” “Zacs” and “Taylors” of today, but traditional country music from old school legends like Hank Williams, Patsy Cline and Roy Acuff.

  My parents were always staunch proponents of quality, family-friendly entertainment. Given our rural background, my brother and sister and I were frequently treated by my parents to a host of live country music variety shows that were becoming popular in and around Springfield in the late 1960s and early 1970s. In fact, we rarely missed a hometown hayride, hoedown or hootenanny.

  Located about an hour east of Springfield is a small town called Branson. Over the last thirty years or so, Branson has become known to many as the “Vegas” of country music, even challenging Nashville for the distinction of being country music’s capital. But in the 1950s, Branson was backwoods country – plain and simple. That is until 1959 when the Mabe family debuted their local country music variety show, The Baldknobbers Jamboree.

  Named after an Ozark vigilante group from the 1880s, The Baldknobbers show was the first of its kind in the area and featured brothers Bill, Jim, Lyle and Bob Mabe. Combining down-home music and wholesome comedy skits with a focus on faith and family, the show immediately became a hit with tourists. Imagine a live theater version of the long running television variety show Hee Haw – years before there was a Hee Haw. The Baldknobbers presented meticulous, well-crafted, authentic onstage hillbilly personas. Yet despite the washtubs, washboards and bibbed overalls they were actually master showmen and brilliant musicians with amazing business savvy. Chuck and Barb took us kids to see The Baldknobbers several times as we were growing up. Although their “pickin’ and grinnin’” performances were a far cry from my often outrageous future rock and roll stage presentation, my Baldknobbers experiences had a profound influence on me. Their show continues to be a top-drawing Branson attraction.

  The Baldknobbers circa 1970.

  (Photo: Courtesy of The Baldknobbers)

  C’mon, Get Happy!

  Friday, September 25, 1970, proved to be a monumental evening in my life. A new program called The Partridge Family debuted that night on the ABC television network. The show was based on a fictitious pop group made up of three brothers and two sisters along with their widowed mother, Shirley Partridge, played by veteran stage and screen actress Shirley Jones. Keep in mind, this was 1970. There were only three networks and three channels – period. Consequently, I’d never before seen or heard anything like this band. Of course there were The Monkees, another made-for-television pop group, and I had experienced The Baldknobbers’ live show, but their music and image didn’t “speak” to me like The Partridge Family.

  The band was fronted by real-life rocker David Cassidy. He had amazing, shoulder-length, fabulously coiffed, feathered hair and he wore cool clothes. He also played an electric guitar and chicks went crazy every time he opened his mouth. In short, this guy was a rock star!

  Another alluring aspect of The Partridge Family for me and throngs of other adoring pre-pubescent boys of that day was their lip-syncing keyboard player, Laurie Partridge. Played by then relatively unknown eighteen-year-old actress/model Susan Dey, Laurie Partridge was an exquisite beauty and my first pin-up girl. She was tall and slender with long straight brown hair. Despite being only eight-years-old at the time, even I could sniff out her intriguing and mysterious qualities – I was in love!

  Within the first five minutes of that debut Partridge Family episode in 1970 my future was clear – game over, done deal. The genie was already officially out of the bottle and it wasn’t going back in. I was going to marry Susan Dey and I was going to be a rock star like David Cassidy, or I’d die trying.

  Zoot Suit Riot!

  My dad has always been very “Opry,” while I’ve always been more “Ozzy.” He takes great pride in maintaining his car and his lawn, while I can’t change a spark plug and most of my sprinkler heads usually are broken. Yet, despite coming from completely different worlds, he has been the biggest influence in my life.

  Practically every lesson he taught me as a kid I’ve applied to my various future endeavors – although he probably would be the last one to recognize that.

  My dad is an old school guy who grew up in Johnson City, Tennessee during the Great Depression and he spent much of his adult life in the electronics business, working in management for corporations like Motorola, Zenith and Dictaphone. He’s always had an amazing work ethic and a strong commitment to his family. He’s the type of guy who seems to do everything right, while I’ve always struggled even with life’s most menial tasks.

  He’s actually the one who instilled in me at an early age the importance of being an individual. When I was a kid he’d often help me with school projects, making sure they were unique presentations. Whenever we’d go shopping for back-to-school clothes or new shoes, he’d always remind me of how in his younger days he had a bright yellow zoot suit and that no one else in his crowd had one like it. Every time I heard this story it ended with him picking out the lamest pair of shoes or most ridiculous-looking leisure suit. “These (insert items of choice) are so ‘square’ Dad,” I’d often inform him. But my passionate pleas for truly groovy shoes or anything other than that lime green leisure suit always met with him encouraging me to be a leader and not a follower. “Start your own trend,” he’d often tell me.

  In 1970 my dad bought me a ventriloquist doll for my eighth birthday. I can’t remember why. But I quickly became quite good at throwing my voice. Before long I was writing my own skits and doing shows at various school and church functions on a regular basis. It wasn’t very “rock and roll,” but it presented me with a wonderful opportunity to create my own material and gave me valuable stage experience at a young age.

  When I was eleven, my dad built me a custom bicycle. This ride was “pimp” years before anyone was “pimping their rides.” It was custom painted and pinstriped with a chopper front end, a steering wheel and a windshield. It also had a fur-covered seat with fur-lined baskets. And with green tires, I could leave awesome, signature, colored skid marks down the street, as if to say, “Chris Long was here.”

  I suppose I also got my musical passion from my dad. He grew up playing a variety of instruments and he sang bass in several Southern gospel groups such as The Tennessee Harmony Boys, until he entered the army in the early 1950s. Although he had ample opportunity to pursue a professional career in gospel music after returning home from the
service, he put his personal aspirations aside in order to provide a “real” life for his family.

  I heard Ted Nugent comment in an interview many years ago that he was grateful to have had strict parents. And I completely agree with that sentiment. I didn’t stay out of trouble in my younger days because I was a good kid – it was because I feared my dad’s wrath if I’d gotten busted. Now, many years later, I truly can appreciate his no-nonsense approach to parenting.

  Only a fool despises a parent’s discipline.

  Proverbs 15:5 (NLT)

  It’s funny, but when I was nineteen I knew everything about life and at forty-nine my dad was (in my mind) completely clueless. Now, I’m forty-nine, my dad is seventy-nine, and I realize he’s a total genius and I’m a complete idiot! How on earth did that happen? And be sure that although we don’t always see eye-to-eye on some things, even as I approach fifty, I respect my father as much, if not more, than ever.

  If you honor your father and mother,

  things will go well for you, and you will

  have a long life on the earth.

  Ephesians 6:3 (NLT)

  Moving in Stereo

  In the early 1970s our house was always full of music. In 1973 my dad brought home our first family hi-fi set. It had TWO speakers, offered AM and FM stations, with an 8-track tape deck and produced stereo sound. It was completely state-of-the-art for those days.

  My parents quickly began buying stacks of 8-track tapes by country music’s hottest (and wholesome) artists like The Statler Brothers and Charlie Rich.

  But oddly, Chuck and Barb suddenly started to become cool. So cool (for them), that they also began bringing home tapes by such “cutting-edge” artists as The Carpenters, John Denver and Bread.